Inbox (Prismatica)

[speakerstone]

Inbox

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Sypha Belnades ⬤ Castlevania
residential district ⬤ Level 2
moonblessing ⬤ Sanguis

info ⬤ permissions ⬤ kinklist

art credit: marinevhs

Comments

[starmark]

look
i don't

i don't want what happened at the beach to happen again
it pisses you off when i don't say things
i get it

but tell me something
honestly

not an accusation
no fucking games

what did you imagine he was doing back at the castle
while you and trevor went away

what did that daydream look like

[speakerstone]

I imagined he needed space! To grieve! Like a human being does! But apparently that was just another mistake I made you're going to dance around forever, wasn't it?

1/2

[starmark]

for FUCK'S SAKE i just TOLD YOU I WAS

[starmark]

can you just give me the benefit of the doubt for five fucking seconds
assume for a minute that i'm doing this for a reason OTHER than that i think you're a complete bitch
and listen to me

i'm asking what you thought
i want to know what you thought
you're not stupid and you care about him and i'm trying to give YOU the benefit of all of those things

but i can't READ YOUR FUCKING MIND

[speakerstone]

I'm telling you what I thought!

I'm telling you that I thought he needed space, and that he never once acted like he would have been happier without us leaving. I didn't magically forget about him or something on the road, of course I thought about him. I thought we would visit, once we were on our way back from where we wanted to go.

You're clearly intelligent, but I can't for the life of me tell what you're thinking, not yet, and I'm not in a patient state of being. Is that enough?

[starmark]

yare yare what a fucking pain

look
you told me the thing about his dad
and the infinite corridor and whatever

so i'm going to tell you something too
and it's not to make you feel like shit
and it's not because i think you're a bitch
and it's not because i'm over here counting up all your mistakes in a little book

the only reason i'm telling you what i'm telling you
is because i get that you're frustrated

ok
i'm telling you i get it
what i'm thinking is "she's frustrated and pissed off and maybe this will help"
and that's all

so look
he didn't know that you were coming back

he didn't know, sypha
he thought you were just gone

[speakerstone]

...oh no.

[Shit. Fuck. Shit shit fuck. He thought when he'd seen them disappearing down the road that they were disappearing for good.]

I thought he understood. I thought he knew, I thought I made it clear enough when I told him. Did he really think we'd just...leave?

How is this meant to help?

[starmark]

because now you know why i can't stay calm when it's about him
just...

now maybe we both understand a little better

he's so fucking sad
and sometimes i manage to make him smile and every time i do i just
i don't know, ok

he didn't want to do anything when he got here
it was like he'd just given up
he really wanted to just crawl into his coffin and sleep until that was it
there wasn't anything in the world left for him to stay awake for
that's what he thought

i just don't want to see him like that again
he came close once
so you and i may not see eye to eye on anything else in the entire damn world and that's fine
but neither one of us wants to see him get hurt
so at least we've got that in common

[speakerstone]

Listen, I

I don't want that for him either. And I clearly have a lot to think about. Things to talk about, apologize for. Please don't take this personally, alright?

I wish I'd gotten here sooner. I wish I'd had a chance to apologize and have it matter. He has the right to make his choice, live his own life, of course he does. But what will Trevor and I do if we go back and our friend is no where to be found? Search the world over, not remembering how he's happier somewhere else?

I need time. I'm going to say something I'll regret, going on like this. I don't want that. He's happier with you here, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

But I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. About you, about any of this. I need time.

[starmark]

...
yeah

listen
for what it's worth

if he changes his mind
if he decides he wants to go back after all
i wouldn't get in the way of it

i'd hate it
i'd miss him
but i made him promise me that he would start looking for a reason to live
one that isn't just a person

and if he found that reason in wallachia then i would want him to go after it

[speakerstone]

I don't know if that would grant me any more peace, knowing we'd torn him away from you. I don't think it would.

What a mess we've gotten ourselves in.

For now, at least, can he just be our friend? Not some object in our own screwed up emotional tug-of-war. He's just our sad, vampire friend, and he cares about both of us while we're here.

[starmark]

yeah

i think it makes him happy to see you
trevor too
i know what it's like to have someone show up who was there for all the shit you went through

so
i'm glad you're here too

[speakerstone]

...yeah.

[Aaaaaahahaha. Jotaro isn't exactly first on the list of people she's going to tell about the whole Trevor situation, but boy does that drive a knife into her chest. Sure would be great, having someone who knows.]

I am too.